Since a very young age, God placed in my heart the desire to do mission work. I didn’t have an agenda for what I would do when the time came to go to third world countries. I didn’t have a goal of building houses or teaching English, etc. I just wanted to go love on the little ones. The orphans, the destitute, they needed to know they were loved by God, and I just wanted to be the instrument of His love. His greatest commandment is to love Him, his second, to love your neighbor. But my heart has always broken for those who do not have a family to show them love and I fear they will grow up feeling abandoned by God. When I came on this trip, I quickly forgot the desire of just loving. It was replaced by the ambitions of my heart, fed by the success and goals we love to have. Sure there was pressure that this is part of my internship for my degree; therefore, it needed to be “successful”. These last few days have been a struggle. Nothing has gone according to plan. I have yet to be able to evaluate a child. Teachers are absent, preschools are being ran by a 13 year old= total chaos. Today it has rained so children don’t go to school. My project is short of being a complete FAILURE. What a scary word! By last night I was ready to go home, be back in my safety net and just write a fancy literature review to feel some accomplishment. But since that wasn’t an option, I was forced, and yes I do mean forced to go before God with true humility and surrender. Ok God, whatever you want, whatever your will, but please just show me. This morning He spoke to my heart. Remember the desire I put in your heart. Remember love? Even if it’s one child for one day. I received flashbacks of the little 3 year old boy who began crying at school yesterday. When I asked him what was wrong he said he wanted to go home, he was sleepy and tired. He looked exhausted. Wouldn’t you be, if you were 3 feet tall and expected to carry a gallon of water and bottles in your pants back to your family so you could bathe and drink, amongst many other chores? Mind you there are steep hills and rocks are everywhere. I then began a game with him, before long he was drawing me pictures and asking to have photos taken. Later that afternoon in another preschool class I was holding a little 3 year old. She begins to cry. She tells me she’s thirsty and wants water. It is almost 90 degrees and the school is not air-conditioned. I ask her teacher if there is water, but they ran out. Guess what, I can’t just get her some faucet water. She is so thirsty. I can’t solve the problem; we had all forgotten our bottled water. Instead I spin with her and throw her up in the air. Soon she is having fun and laughing and forgets her thirst. These are not miraculous stories. I have accomplished nothing, not even provided these children with what they really needed. All I have done is loved them. That is after all what I wanted to do, before my own will got in the way. You see, had our group not been there, those children would be left to just cry for hours because 30 three year olds under the supervision of a 13 year old cannot receive the attention they need. And if it means that I am here to just love these children for an afternoon, and entertain and play so they may forget their hunger, thirst and fatigue for an afternoon then to God be the glory.
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